Show Anger and Disappointment During a Negotiation

In later stages of negotiations, show anger and disappointment — within reason (Van Kleef, De Dreu, & Manstead, 2006, Van Kleef, De Dreu, & Manstead, 2004; Steinel, Van Kleef, Harnick, 2008).

There’s an additional benefit of disappointment.

Most people guess that the most important outcome of a negotiation is the economic value of a deal (i.e., money). But there’s a bigger factor: Perceived performance.

MBA graduates were more satisfied with their job (and stayed longer) if they believed they performed well in their job negotiation. Their actual salaries had no effect (Curhan, Elfenbein, & Kilduff, 2009).

Therefore, your counterpart will feel better about their deal if you show signs of disappointment (Thompson, Valley, & Kramer, 1995).

Caveat: Your counterpart might also develop a negative perception of you (Kopelman, Rosette, & Thompson, 2006). Consider using this tactic only for short-term relationships. And always direct your anger toward the offer – never at the person.

• Curhan, J. R., Elfenbein, H. A., & Kilduff, G. J. (2009). Getting off on the right foot: Subjective value versus economic value in predicting longitudinal job outcomes from job offer negotiations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 94(2), 524.
• Kopelman, S., Rosette, A. S., & Thompson, L. (2006). The three faces of Eve: Strategic displays of positive, negative, and neutral emotions in negotiations. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 99(1), 81-101.
• Steinel, W., Van Kleef, G. A., & Harinck, F. (2008). Are you talking to me?! Separating the people from the problem when expressing emotions in negotiation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44(2), 362-369.
• Thompson, L., Valley, K. L., & Kramer, R. M. (1995). The bittersweet feeling of success: An examination of social perception in negotiation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 31(6), 467-492.
• Van Kleef, G. A., De Dreu, C. K., & Manstead, A. S. (2004). The interpersonal effects of anger and happiness in negotiations. Journal of personality and social psychology, 86(1), 57.
• Van Kleef, G. A., De Dreu, C. K., & Manstead, A. S. (2006). Supplication and appeasement in conflict and negotiation: The interpersonal effects of disappointment, worry, guilt, and regret. Journal of personality and social psychology, 91(1), 124.